You've got a silly hat on

Why do I decide things? Are they convenient? Do I really like them?

Essay. Not nice. I want a P. That is all. It's a bit funny that it's about one state having all this power its made itself, mostly through the right decisions, and that means it can exploit all the others.

Is that fair? Can I tell someone else to do something? Is it my decision?

And here I was, inspired by A Man For All Seasons, the archetypical Sir Thomas Cromwell, the Pragmatist of all Pragmatists, making the 'convenient' decisions.

I think I need to change again. It's nearly complete, just need to pull the hat on (I've been reading 'Six Thinking Hats' by Edward De Bono...ahh the pedagogy).

Anyway, I hope this is the last time I have to revert to the old hat, and hopefully make more inconvenient, moral but also pragmatic, like for the 'working families...long term...future!" so nicely put when the ALP was in its 2007 rhetorical heyday. Now its more reserved. I suppose I need to become more resevered, yet ever so still enthusiastic.

We'll see, hopefully the rain, which we need, goes away and I can find the hat, which, although not as pretty, will give me the final helping hand...

...allons enfants de la patrie...le jour de gloire est arrivé...

Non, je ne regrette rien.

X

jump started, gears engaged

Sitting here, once again.

Resolved, but now confident, knowing that there is goodness. It seems pointless now being held back by laziness.

The worm is slowly receding, and relations are growing back again. Its like a mildew that seemed natural somewhere, yet someone kept trying to remove it. Its familiar. Like he said, not since year 11. The old traveller, not knowing where he's necessarily going, yet happy to take the unknown path not out of fear, but out of new experience, and sharing it with people I've forgotten over the past part of the year.

Its nearly drawing to a close, yet so much seems to be done.

New people, new ideas, new old me.

And new resolutions. I suppose I'll have to see what the rest of the year brings, and then we start all over again. I just want to know it, not necessarily study it at university. A wise decision of mine.

If I could do it again, I'd make more mistakes.

Not be so scared of falling.

If I could do it again, I'd climb more trees.

I'd pick and I'd eat more wild blackberries.

Lets drive to Brighton on the weekend.

Lets drive to Brighton on the weekend.

Lets drive to Brighton on the weekend.

À vos souhaites. Et non, je ne regrette rien.

X.

did i see?

I sit in bed, feeling changed, yet not knowing if it will keep up or if I will be able to hold the cards for longer, into the weeks and months and years that speed past me. The experience Thursday night did transform me, yet in the back of my head the worm doesn't want me to follow up later.

Always short term, not lasting, like gum, losing its flavour until you're back to having the chess pieces all lined up again. It's already happened, but tomorrow I will try and speak after work over crêpes with a friend.

Anyway, 6 am calls me already, as does the shower if I get up in time. But once again, its the worm that doesn't permit me to.

I know that there will be something soon that will encourage me, and all the stars will come back, and my Bowser might just disappear, even if for a short time.

Oh, and that other thought.

I want that toy back, the one I was going to break in June anyway, but someone took the batteries out for me, saving me from some wreckage.

I suppose, as I was told last night, its probably just the novelty

The blanket needs to be just over my shoulders, then my head won't drown.

x